Treasure Chest
So it was New Year’s Eve and one of the last two rituals
left on my list was the emptying of my Treasure Chest.
Treasure Chest:
Where I hide my
deepest thoughts and wishes.
I had no idea what to expect; all through the years, I hadn’t peeked at all to read what was “in there.” Either I was satisfied the chest contained enough wishes to keep the Universe and the Law of Attraction busy working their magic, or maybe I myself was too busy getting my act together and moving on with my life, but whatever the reason, it sure was surprising to see that most of the thoughts and wishes scribbled on the pieces of paper dated back to 2005.
As I read the 25 little notes, I was struck by how gloomy that period had been for me. I was also relieved, grateful and happy for where I had finally ended up – in a much more positive and luminous state of mind. Glory be to the goddesses in heaven!
After going through the pile, I separated the lot into 6 categories and proceeded to analyse the results:
#1 — Ordinary stuff
- New glasses with clip-on (Still have the same frame but in 2006, got new lenses that darken in the sun) *
- Flowers/plants for my balcony (Have gotten them every summer) *
- Get my teeth fixed (Mission accomplished first 3 months of 2008) *
#2 — Career stuff
- New computer with flat screen (Purchased in August 2007) *
- Business cards (Yup: Mudd cards in 2006, Oza cards in 2007) *
- Find good printer and develop trusting/creative rapport (Autumn 2007 — met 2 brothers, really cool guys, who run Imprimerie MIRACLE on Wellington Street in Verdun) *
-
Find web designer who will build my site according to the plans in my head (Worked on building this site with Tina Stephen in December 2007; she has since switched to making handcrafted jewelry) *
- Legally change my name to Mudd. Confused? Maybe this will help (Haven’t done it. I’ve got more important things to pay for.) x
- Start my own business and/or take a web designer course (Did not take the course — way too expensive — but started to do motivational coaching in 2007 and am currently playing around with different ideas/projects. Though none of these are hauling in truckloads of cash, I’m confident the Universe will provide if I keep on working hard and being positive. Yeehaw!) *
- Apply massive action in order to write and create as much as I can — books, plays, movies, podcasts, paintings, drawings, clothes, dolls, etc. (I decided to acknowledge my efforts and give myself a star; after all, I have been drawing and writing blog posts — in both English and French — for over a year. But I have to… no, make that I’m ready, willing and able to become more productive. Now that I’ve gotten rid of my perfectionism, I’m having more fun and picking up speed.) *
#3 — Heart, body, and soul
- Become healthy both mentally and physically (MAJOR SUCCESS. I am fit, thin, and healthy. I’m also very proud to say I conquered a life-long depression and pleased to see that my happiness increases with every passing day — hip hip hooray!) *
- Liberate myself from pent-up anger and make peace with the past (Another MAJOR SUCCESS with a crowning breakthrough moment: The Door) *
- Stop being anxious and stop doubting my ability to create a better, brighter future for myself (Worked hard on this one and must say Eckhart Tolle helped me understand that the secret to happiness is to live in the “Now.” I’ve read The Power of Now and A New Earth, and to this day, I still listen to his CD set, Practicing The Power of Now, Essential Teachings, Meditations, and Exercises. ) *
- That L. will turn out to be Mister Right (Ha! This one sure gave me a laugh. Had totally forgotten about this guy I met on the Internet in September 2005. No, he didn’t turn out to be Mister Right. I’ll have to tell you about our one and only meeting = too funny.) x
Still with me?
Be brave, I’m almost done…
#4 — Financial fears
- Fear of not being able to clear my debts (This is the most recent note in the lot; it was deposited in the chest following the purchase of my computer and the cost of my dental work. I’m still paying the minimum monthly payment on bank loan / credit margin and working towards a better financial situation, all the while keeping a positive outlook and doing the best I can. Living in the NOW!) *
- Fear of never crawling out of this hole, this debilitating slump, this deadly boring life (Ouch! See what I was reading on New Year’s Eve? LOL! — Nowadays, even if it’s not always easy, I sure don’t consider myself to be in a “debilitating slump”… though frankly I do get a little bored now and then. But most of the time, I’m rockin’ and workin’ my little butt off to move ahead and make my dreams come true.) *
- Fear of growing old and being too poor to afford a comfortable lifestyle (Not worrying about that, either — I will find a way, everything’s going to be okay, I intend to live till I’m at least 133. Yippeeeeee!) *
#5 — Fears for “The Book Yet To Be Written”
(kind of embarrassing to share what follows…)
- Fear of not being able to write my book (Well folks, it hasn’t been written. But contrary to how I felt back in 2005, the bum in me is going with the flow — no more pressure, no more guilt, no more driving myself nuts. If it happens, it happens. Que sera, sera, what will be, will be. This attitude is well worth a star, right? And please note that I’m slowly but surely writing the damn thing. No retreat, no surrender!) *
- Fear that once my book is written, it won’t get published (Hey… if and when that book is written, and if I do decide to get it published, believe me, it will be published. So that’s another star for conquering another demon. Hooaw!) *
- Fear that once my book is published, it won’t sell and will be a total flop (Geez… was I ever heavy back then. But the new and improved moi has a plan: once my book is published, I’m going to sing and dance on every corner of every street in every town across the WHOLE WORLD in order to sell it. Star please
) *
#6 — Wishes for other people
- For my friend C. — that she not have to take care of her sick neighbour at all hours of the day and night (Neighbour was transfered to a special care home) *
- For my daughter-in-law — may she have the strength and patience and health to take care of her two young sons, a.k.a. my darling grandsons (She eventually had a third son — sweet — and her health has never been better — Hallelujah!) *
- For my friend J. — may she pass her medical tests without too much pain and may the results show that all is well (All is well.) *
- For my son S. — that he control his anger towards his annoying and sometimes violent neighbour (He controlled it like a pro considering how dramatic and stressful the situation became; said neighbour has since moved.) *
- For M.’s sister — may she be cured of cancer (Unfortunately, she died — you can’t win ‘em all
) x
FINAL SCORE:
23 *
2 x
That night, it was encouraging to see
how far I had come in the last 4 years.
I felt so proud and elated, so excited for
the new year about to start and for how
prolific and fantastic it would be.
And then I picked a Rune.
To be continued…
Donald says:
Hello Mudd,
I am amused and amazed by your treasure chest. I GOT TO GET ME ONE OF THOSE!
On a serous note, please visit my new blog. I would like to add your blog there so go and check it out.
Thanks again for sharing yourself. I always love reading all about you.
January 13, 2009 at 6:09 pm
MuddLavoie says:
Hi Donald!
I’ll be checking up on you… waiting to see if you’ve found the “perfect container” for your Treasure Chest.
And I’m off to visit your new blog…
Love always xoxo
January 16, 2009 at 7:00 pm
Tracey says:
Hi Oza,
Thanks so much for sharing this. It really uplifted me to see that you have had (normal?) fears yet have come so far to overcome so many of them.
I really believe in you; I believe that you can achieve anything you want.
Thanks again for all that you do to inspire me, amuse me, and to get me thinking.
xx tracey
January 18, 2009 at 7:07 pm
MuddLavoie says:
Bonjour Beautiful Gal!
Serendipity: I was just now visiting your blog to see if you had written anything new — I love reading your thoughts — and then I come here and find your comment. Cool!
Thanks for believing in me… as I believe in you. Hope 2009 is the year we get to finally TALK — either on the phone or on Skype. Can’t wait to hear your voice.
Peace & Love & Rock’n'Roll!
xoxo
January 19, 2009 at 2:25 pm