Official Paper Purge Launch
I’m not the only one who’s been waiting over 19 years
for this Paper Purge to happen.
The people at the Canada Council for the Arts
have also been very patient.
In 1989, they granted me $13,532 as part of a program which I can’t even remember the name of, but it was for an artist’s first attempt at getting their work “out there.” In my case, I was to write a book — largely based on my life story — and get it published. En français.
Well, needless to say I went bananas when I got the phone call telling me I was among the chosen few in Canada to get what I had asked for: one year’s salary ($13,200); expenses such as paper and ink cartridges for my Apple ImageWriter printer ($352); and last but not least, their vote of confidence in my talent and my determination to make my dream come true.
After the excitement,
I panicked.
I totally sabotaged my dream. And right about then, my whole world started to take a turn for the ditch. After a series of sad and sometimes tragic events, the ditch collapsed under my feet and I went down, down, down, till I finally hit bottom around 2003.
All through this hell, I tried — year in, year out — to write that darn book. When I’m through reading everything in the pile you see up there, I bet I’ll have found over two dozen manuscripts, almost all of them identical, relating my birth and the first five or six years of my life. Once or twice, I went as far as to recount parts of my teenage years and one time, I even wrote about meeting the man who was to become my husband. But after writing about the wedding, I became very sad and depressed. You will, too, when you get to read that part. Then again, we might all have a good laugh, because I hope to give it a shot of humour. A real BIG shot.
This is why I’m so grateful to see that not only am I now willing to plow through the pile, but I feel emotionally and mentally ready for it. In other words, I’m definitely eager and curious and enthusiastic about the whole journey.
Yeah…I know…we’ll see how I feel next month or even next week, hardy har har! Still, I’m sure all will go smoothly if I get plenty of rest, go out and walk every day, meet with friends on a regular basis, and practice breathing, meditating, and being in the moment. Being in the moment is without a doubt the key to an enlightening, joyful, and fun experience.
So there ya go…
Wish me luck 
P.S.: Somehow, I thought the pile was going to be much bigger.
Why did it seem like such a MONSTER all these years?
franca says:
Oza this project is totally doable if you really want to do it.
The possibilities are endless and just beginning for you my dear. Soooo exciting!
Cheers,
F
August 18, 2008 at 10:42 pm
Diana says:
Oza I’m sure you’ll be able to get through this, and it sounds like your ready.
I personally get overwhelmed when it’s more than a sheet of paper in front of me and will find the ability to do things I never wanted to just to avoid the task that seems so large my mind shuts down.
That’s just me
I look forward to your book
What an incredible journey you have ahead of you!
August 18, 2008 at 10:51 pm
Allison says:
Ahh Oza. Life is in the journey is it not? So very pleased for you
August 18, 2008 at 10:55 pm
Marilyn Robertson says:
What a perfect way to start out your new year. You have courage girl - my containers are still hiding in my shed! But then my birthday comes up in a couple of months - so maybe I can take some hints about it from you.
August 18, 2008 at 11:19 pm
Gord says:
Wow! You’ve never shared that before.
It is very cool that you got a grant.
You are an amazing writer (in two languages)
I would also like to cast my vote of confidence in your talent and your determination to make your dream come true.”
August 19, 2008 at 12:41 am
mildred garfield says:
I came over to your blog to thank you for your comments re my birthday, gift and Steve. It was such a warm message!
Then I read your latest post about the grant you received and about your efforts to write a book.
How wonderful for you. You got the grant, you have a special talent , go for it - GOOD LUCK!!!
August 19, 2008 at 2:10 pm
OzaMeilleur says:
Thanks, Franca!
As they say, there’s always a reason for everything. And the 19-year wait served to make me a more understanding person, a more mellow person as well. I won’t be telling the story from a “victim’s” point of view. I’ll be telling it from a survivor’s. Oh yeah!
Hugs and love xoxo
August 20, 2008 at 3:59 pm
OzaMeilleur says:
Hi Diana!
Yup, I’m totally excited about the whole thing. I used to get upset just THINKING about it, but no more. The time has come. Rock on!
Hugs and love xoxo
August 20, 2008 at 4:00 pm
OzaMeilleur says:
Hey Allison!
I agree…it’s all about the journey and what you learn each and every step of the way.Olé!
Hugs and love xoxo
August 20, 2008 at 4:04 pm
OzaMeilleur says:
Bonjour Marilyn!
In a couple of months? Why wait?!!! Fall and winter are the perfect seasons for getting rid of the old and preparing for the new spring to come. But I won’t rush you…at least, I’ll try waiting till AFTER your birthday.
Hugs and love xoxo
August 20, 2008 at 4:07 pm
OzaMeilleur says:
Hey Gord, mon ami…
Thanks for the vote of confidence, I appreciate it more than you think.
Hugs and love xoxo
August 20, 2008 at 4:08 pm
OzaMeilleur says:
Bonjour Mildred!
What an honour it is to have you visit and leave a comment. Thank you SO much.
For those of you who don’t know her — and I’ve just “discovered” her myself — Mildred is an 83-year old blogger! Please click on her name and you’ll be taken to her site.
You are a true inspiration, Mizz Mildred. And I LOVE YOU for it.
Extra Special Big Hugs,
Your Fan Forever,
Mudd a.k.a. Oza
xoxo
August 20, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Cindy says:
I say AMEN
August 21, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Rawslyn/StealthMoonlighter says:
Yo! Oza, if anyone can do it, YOU can. Actually, I’ve got a pile a bit bigger than that lurking in a corner of my landlord’s garage (he was a dear to lend me that storage) and another pile in my apartment. I’ll be thinking of you as I thrash through it all.
August 21, 2008 at 3:42 pm
OzaMeilleur says:
Hey Cindy…I say AMEN and raise you a WE SHALL BE RELIEVED!
Thanks for dropping by.
(((HUGS)))
August 21, 2008 at 3:45 pm
OzaMeilleur says:
Hi Rawslyn!
When do you intend to start?
PICTURES! PICTURES!
Awwww, c’m'on…I showed you my pile…
(((HUGS)))
August 21, 2008 at 3:47 pm
DeeDee says:
Wow, thanks for sharing such personal information. It touched me and I kind of can relate to the feeling of “my life isn’t turning out the way I had hoped.” But then our lives are not over and we can still live up to some of our dreams… right?
August 22, 2008 at 1:12 am
OzaMeilleur says:
Hi DeeDee!
As Anthony Robbins says so wisely, “The past does not equal the future.”
And I don’t know who said this next one, but it’s one of my favourites, “The best is yet to come.”
So dream on!!!
Hugs and love xoxo
August 22, 2008 at 5:34 pm
WitchDust says:
My dear, your pile is a small one compared to some. My own is not a “pile per se, but 3 rooms of such thoughts, ideas for books, biographies of infamous family members, cookbooks, history and so on.” I too carry the…perhaps one day, gene…that will surely force me to publish at least one marvel in my lifetime. I wish you well in your own journey my dear. Blessings…and Namaste my friend, WitchDust in Tennessee (USA)
October 4, 2008 at 5:01 pm
OzaMeilleur says:
Bonjour and Welcome WitchDust!
LOVE the name…and nice to have you drop by.
Three rooms of stuff, eh? Wow! You’ve got quite a bit of sorting to do…eventually. And yes, it will be interesting to see what marvels fly out of the nest. Be sure to keep us posted.
Thanks for your kind words. It’s all about the journey, now, isn’t it? Must take the leap of faith and be sure to have FUN!
Big hugs…Namaste xoxo
October 10, 2008 at 2:16 pm