I needed a coach…

Yes indeed, ladies and gents, lately I was thinking that maybe I needed a coach, and lo and behold, Maia Berens, whom I met on Twitter, dropped into my email box yesterday to tell me a spot was ready for me on her All About Life Coaching forum and that I should click myself over there and update my profile.

I did just that.
(Here I am on the train, on my way to Maia’s site.)

So now I’m on Week 1:
Monitor Your Mood

Here’s the opening paragraph to my brand new experience (I know what some of you are thinking: We’ll see how long this one lasts):

This is the beginning of your All About Life Journaling experience. This is the week where you begin to take notice of the existing state of your mind, your body, your emotional state. This is where you really begin looking at you.

For My new Goal or Action to take, I chose:
Don’t think.
FOCUS!

As for On a scale of 1 – 10, with 10 being extremely happy, rate how you feel overall in your life today, my answer was originally split between:
MENTALLY/EMOTIONALLY = 10
FINANCIALLY = 1

I entered 10 for “mentally/emotionally” because I don’t hate myself anymore. Unfortunately, it took me so long to not hate myself that I ended up losing my financial independence. Thus the “financially 1.”

What makes my present situation even more challenging — apart from my lack of cash — is the fact that I’ll be 59 in August, that I feel as though I’m straight out of prison or a fifteen-year coma, and that all I dream about is escaping this housing co-op I’ve been living in (committed to) for 27 years and being on the road. I constantly ache to see new places; meet new people; travel through Canada; the States; then go further South and discover a different world. I want to explore… to explode!

So I figure I’m an OVERALL 7.
Once I’m on the road,
I’ll be a 10 and rising!

Again, I know I’ve been jumping from one thing to another ever since I began to blog, but that’s my handicap: I start a lot of things but rarely finish any of them.

Barbara Sher refers to us as scanners. I bought her book, REFUSE to CHOOSE!, on May 17, 2006 (I always write the date on the first page of every book I buy).

This is what it’s all about:

Are you a Scanner?

“I’m fascinated by something new every week!”
“I can’t commit to anything — I’m afraid I’ll miss something better!”
“I start so many things but finish almost none of them.”
“I know I should focus on one thing, but which one?”

If you’ve thought these things, chances are you’re a Scanner, a very special kind of thinker. Unlike people who are satisfied with one area of interest, you’re genetically wired to pursue many areas, and that’s exactly what you’ve been trying to do. But because your behavior is unfamiliar — even unsettling — to the people around you, you’ve been taught that you’re doing something wrong and told you must decide on one path.

But this advice has been a big mistake. You’ve been misdiagnosed. You’re not a failed specialist, you’re a different creature altogether.

The book made me understand my “condition” and made me feel happy that I’m not alone. Still… I AM alone at the moment. In a way, I’m sort of stuck between life and death — and I make this observation in a very positive way. I swear. Cross my heart and hope to die (laughing out loud and slapping my thigh).

All this to say that I’m glad Maia Berens dropped into my life.
Could it be that the Law of Attraction is working its magic?

To be continued… (I hope!)

P.S.: I was about to publish my post when I checked my emails. Here’s what I received from TUT (A Note from the Universe), proof that I’m on the right track with all my dreams:

The baby steps in the beginning of a journey always seem inadequate compared to the brilliance of the dream that inspired them. This is natural. If the dream wasn’t so far “out there” and dazzling, it wouldn’t be worth dreaming! Just don’t be led to think that the physical ground you cover with your baby steps is all that they accomplish. Because for every mortal step you take, another cog in a giant wheel behind the curtains of time and space advances, and with it, 10,000 new possibilities.

Better than Star Trek,
The Universe

Cool, eh?

Countdown: 30 hours to 2009

Here’s the blogborygmus I doodled, last night.

It represents the ultimate goal I’ll be focusing on throughout 2009.

A goal I’m determined to reach before August 16, 2010, as I am anxious to reap the abundance that will follow — a very “Law of Attraction” reaction.

In case the above drawing/message is too confusing or comes off as being too hippy-dippy-weird, here’s a more precise and detailed version of my ultimate goal:

I want to make money…

• writing blog posts; articles for magazines and newspapers; books also… maybe (especially for kids);
• shooting documentaries or short films;
• creating whatever drawings/paintings/podcasts I can come up with while traveling all over the Planet;
• coaching, even; after all, am I not a Certified Giggle Coach — Helping you find happiness, one giggle at a time?

I want to…

• meet as many people as I can;
• learn from them and share with them what I, myself, have learned;
• spread love and positive vibes;
• help people feel better;
• make people laugh, laugh, LAUGH.

I want to…

• travel the world in a Westfalia camper — I want it white, covered with black and red illustrations;
• have enough cash to sleep in a nice hotel, now and then, and eat decent meals every day;
• work/play with good quality audio and video equipment as well as with a MacBook Pro.

Will be visualizing my road trip scenario over and over till I can actually taste the smell of gasoline; till I feel my butt getting numb from driving around for too long and I suddenly catch myself looking for a cool place to park and to take a walk.

Must think “nomad,” “gypsy,” “traveling road show.”
Must visualize with all my senses.

Must be grateful and keep saying “Thank you.”
Must make believe I already have it all.
Gracias, Universe!

Countdown to 2009
**The Year of The Oza**
Still more to come…

Countdown: 44 hours to 2009

About Santa Claus

He didn’t bring me what I asked for. Far from it.

Instead of a MacBook Pro and a ZOOM H4, I got a boil.

And the boil isn’t in any ol’ place either: it’s on my face, in the middle of my right cheek, right under my big brown beauty mark.

Arrrgh!

While I’m typing this blog post, my festive furuncle sleeps soundly under a heavy coat of aloe gel. Good boil. As the pus-filled lump sleeps, a thought gives me the creeps: if I don’t kick myself in the butt and move on with my life, I will continue to ROT.

Which brings us to my next topic…

This website turned one year old on December 18

I went back and read my my very first blog post. I remember how completely drained I was that day. Drained by the months of patience and hard work it had taken for the site to go up. I can’t begin to count the hours spent on Skype with Tina Stephen, my tech guru, probing and testing, day and night, to finally figure things out and make my dream come true.

So there I was, inaugurating my custom-designed site, at the start of what I believed would be a rockin’ road trip through the past.

When I clicked to publish that first post, I was excited — oh yes, very much so. But at the same time, I realized what HIGH expectations I held for this site and that I would have to work very hard in order to keep the dream alive. (DOUBLY hard since I had had the brilliant idea of managing a French version of this blog thus doubling the work… doubling the stress.)

Yes, I was stressed. The stress kept getting heavier and heavier, and things started to become more and more boring as the weeks and months went by. Where had all the excitement and adventure and music and laughter gone? Why was my magical van so slow? Why did I always end up spoiling my fun?

Many times, I wanted to quit and shut down the site. Other times, I wanted to at least drop one of the blogs. Of course, the French blog would have been the one to go because it has the least traffic. The thought of this made me feel bad: How could I abandon my heritage, my culture?

Damn guilt.

All this to say that I’m glad I pushed ahead and pulled through — in both English and French.

I’m now ready to raise the bar and make this place a reflection of who I truly am and of who I want to become. I’m already focusing on getting rid of the perfectionist devil, and I’ll be starting a creativity class soon, but that’s a topic for another post.

I hope you all have some kind of end-of-year ritual. Personally, I find it important to look at where I have come from; to make sure I know where I want to go; and to pack my mind, heart and soul with whatever I’ll need for the journey ahead.

More to come as I count down the hours
that will lead us to 2009…
**The Year of The Oza**

Everybody conga!