UPDATE / Week of February 22 to 28 AND Notch #2 Trophy

Last week’s BABY STEP — TO TRUST… and let it drip — brought me a steady flow of aha! moments.

It got me to experience the Law of Attraction in all its glory: after what seemed like a never-ending period of doubt and soul-searching — and thanks to my perseverance, my pursuit of non-stop action, and my unwavering focus on creating a better life for myself — I was able to flush a two-thousand-year-old bad karma. Alleluia!

Purged of all negative emotions anchored in the past,
I draw inspiration from the Source and get my fill of creativity.
I AM RICH.

Guided by a very dear friend (a medium who wishes to remain anonymous), I discovered why it was that, over the years, I had slowly sunk myself into poverty.

Following a message she had received for me concerning a past life,  my friend gave me the following homework: to write a report about what I had gathered from poverty. The subject haunted me for three days and three nights. The day of our meeting, I wrote twenty pages — handwritten — where I spoke of shame, sorrow, guilt, anger, deception, isolation, anxiety, depression, panic attacks, sadness, boredom, worry, humiliation… but also of understanding, humility, compassion, gratitude.

Once I was done doing this exercise, and after twelve hours of a captivating conversation mixed with King Cole tea, vegetarian spaghetti, and decadent chocolate cake, I felt liberated from the feeling of lack which had afflicted me ever since birth. Not only the lack of financial means, but also the lack of LOVE.

This said, I still have a heck of a lot of work to do in order to pull myself out of the hole I’m in. But I’m confident everything will work out fine… one baby step at a time.

TROPHY
for Notch #2

I only deserve HALF!

I had two goals for February… I only reached one.

My first goal was to create a decent “about me” page on both my English and French sites = failure.

All I did was put up an audio message saying that I would be adding information on a regular basis… to please check in often.

Not so!

Consequently, as soon as I accomplish this mission, I will receive the other half of the trophy.

My second goal was to create a new habit: S-T-R-E-T-C-H for 20 minutes every day following my morning walk = SUCCESS!

I’m back to my flexible self again and it feels great. Not only do I stretch after my morning walk, but I also do it whenever I need a break from working at the computer or from any other task that requires hours of concentration. Excellent!

CONCLUSION: February was all about introspection and the elimination of old thought patterns. Now that I’ve made peace with poverty, bring on abundance!

I am
RICH RICH RICH

REFERENCES: The 12-Notch Plan — Notch #2 – GOALS for February — Notch #2 – BABY STEPS / Week of February 22 to 28

Notch #2 – BABY STEPS / Week of February 22 to 28

my
BABY STEP
this week:

TO TRUST…
and let it drip!

I know — I’m late for my BABY STEP post. I’ve been experiencing a major soulquake, and it has disrupted my routine.

I spent the last five days wondering if I’m going forward or backwards. I feel like I’ve been trying and trying and trying all my life… without ever getting anywhere. Could it be that I’m trying too hard? That the problem with me is in the “trying,” in the wanting to “control” everything?

I even started to question my 12-Notch Plan. Because after all, the whole point of the plan is for me to become more creative, more productive. So am I being too organized? Too structured? Not letting myself go with the flow? Going with what flow? And where exactly is it that I want to go?

Sheesh!

After writing about this in my Morning Pages (and in my afternoon pages, and my evening pages, and my night pages… ), I decided to thumb through The Artist’s Way in the hope that I would find an answer.

Well aha! I found it. And I’m glad to say that I can stick to my 12-Notch Plan. But I must understand that when it comes to creativity, I need to stop trying so hard and start trusting the process.

That I’m not the boss…
I’m the bucket!

Here’s the excerpt from The Artist’s Way that gave me the permission to not feel guilty about my moments of inaction:

Creativity — like human life itself — begins in darkness. We need to acknowledge this. All too often, we think only in terms of light: “And then the lightbulb went on and I got it!” It is true that insights may come to us as flashes. It is true that some of these flashes may be blinding. It is, however, also true that such bright ideas are preceded by a gestation period that is interior, murky, and completely necessary.

We speak often about ideas as brainchildren. What we do not realize is that brainchildren, like all babies, should not be dragged from the creative womb prematurely. Ideas, like stalactites and stalagmites, form in the dark inner cave of consciousness. They form in drips and drops, not by squared-off building blocks. We must learn to wait for an idea to hatch. Or, to use a gardening image, we must learn to not pull our ideas up by the roots to see if they are growing.

Mulling on the page is an artless art form. It is fooling around. It is doodling. It is the way that ideas slowly take shape and form until they are ready to help us see the light. All too often, we try to push, pull, outline, and control our ideas instead of letting them grow organically. The creative process is a process of surrender, not control.

Mystery is at the heart of creativity. That, and surprise. All too often, when we say we want to be creative, we mean that we want to be able to be productive. Now, to be creative is to be productive — but by cooperating with the creative process, not forcing it.

As creative channels, we need to trust the darkness. We need to learn to gently mull instead of churning away like a little engine on a straight-ahead path. This mulling on the page can be very threatening. “I’ll never get any real ideas this way!” we fret.

Hatching an idea is a lot like baking bread. An idea needs to rise. If you poke at it too much at the beginning, if you keep checking on it, it will never rise. A loaf of bread or a cake, baking, must stay for a good long time in the darkness and safety of the oven. Open that oven too soon and the bread collapses — or the cake gets a hole in its middle because all the steam has rushed out of it. Creativity requires a respectful reticence.

The truth is that this is how to raise the best ideas. Let them grow in dark and mystery. Let them form on the roof of our consciousness. Let them hit the page in droplets. Trusting this slow and seemingly random drip, we will be startled one day by the flash of “Oh! That’s it!“

And you…
How’s your bucket?

REFERENCES: The 12-Notch Plan — Notch #2 – GOALS for February — Morning Pages

UPDATE / Week of January 4 to 10

REFERENCES: Going Up a Notch – THE PLAN — Notch #1 – GOALS for January — Notch #1 – BABY STEPS / Week of January 4 to 10

Here are the baby steps that were planned
and the progress that was made.

THE ROAD TRIP SHOW

BABY STEP:
Recording of Episode 1
must be 100% done by Sunday.

PROGRESS:

Not done. Not even close. I’ll be generous and say I’m 40% done.

So as of tonight, I’m not sure the show will be ready for its scheduled launch on Wednesday. Will know for sure by Tuesday. I’m crossing my fingers, as opposed to what I would have done in a not-so-distant past which is mentally crush them with a nail-studded iron bar.

Learning to let go.

Learning to be kinder to myself.

Learning to not make a big deal about a make-believe radio show — Hello?

JUSTIFICATION:

After listening to what I had recorded last month and finding it boooooring, I decided to destroy the tracks and start all over again. This means I had way more work to do this week than was expected.

Good news is, after a series of botched recordings, I finally began to relax and was therefore able to find the right tone and rhythm for the show. This happened yesterday — YESSS! I can’t begin to tell you what a relief it was for me to start having fun with this project instead of feeling the pressure to “perform.” Still, I have to be very careful not to get caught in the perfectionnist trap — darn that monster is hard to eliminate!

And I must add to this litany of excuses the fact I’ve been having problems with WordPress. It used to be I only had them with my French blog, but as of last Monday, posting on my English blog has also become a challenge. Will be updating both of them either right after the show’s launch, or before if the old version eats up too much of my time and energy.

ADJUSTMENTS:

I need to determine what my priorities are. This week, I should have concentrated on recording The Road Trip Show. It should have been my main creativity/productivity goal. Instead, I wrote 6 posts for my English blog and 5 posts for my French blog. A total of 11 posts this week. And that doesn’t include this update and its French version. For a grand total of 13 posts.

What was I thinking?!!

Of course this being the first week of The 12-Notch Plan, I had to present a detailed picture of what I had in mind as well as play by the rules and post an update. But I could have done without the post on the decline of my neighbourhood and the ones documenting my morning walks.

THE CONTEST

BABY STEP:
Create the product to be won
by 2 of the trippers on the Happy Bus.

PROGRESS:

Done! The illustration — which already existed but wasn’t “clean” enough for printing purposes — has been drawn over and is now ready to be sent off to CafePress.

THE HEALTHY ME

BABY STEP:
Walk at least 60 minutes every day.

PROGRESS:

Done… but overdone! I went from not taking the time to walk because I was too busy working, to walking 90 minutes yesterday and close to 3 hours today.

Not good for productivity.

ADJUSTMENTS:

Walk no more than 1 hour each morning, from 8 to 9.

And stop posting about my walks when I have more important goals to reach.

I have to mention how Julien Smith inspired me to make my morning walks a priority for both my physical and mental well-being. As I mentioned above, I tend to work, work, work, the day goes by, and I end up not taking my walk on account of it’s too late, too dark, I’m too tired, don’t feel like it, blah blah blah.

When I read Julien’s posts, How To Make Your New Year’s Resolution Actually Happen and Give in to the Machine, I had an aha! moment. It’s all about restriction… and creating habits. Check it out!

BABY STEP:
Eat 5 small meals every day.

PROGRESS:

Not happening. I’ve been eating mostly 2 meals a day. And pretty much the same thing every day.

JUSTIFICATION:

Because I don’t schedule it. Because I get absorbed by my work and forget about it. Because I don’t plan ahead to have food available and in a wide variety.

Because, because, because.

ADJUSTMENTS:

Plan ahead. Make sure I have enough food for the week. Set my timer and eat!

That’s it for this week.
See you tomorrow…
for another week of baby steps.